Crucial Conversations Before Marriage
I recently had a conversation with a friend who made a comment about how she should probably talk to her fiance about how much debt she has but that she’s afraid to. It got me thinking about how crucial those conversations are, especially before marriage. In all honesty, my friend probably shouldn’t have gotten this far into her relationship without talking about her debt.
We’ve all heard the stat… 50% of marriages end in divorce. A study by Scott et. al., from 2013 found that in 36.7% of divorces, financial issues were cited as a top reason for the dissolution. So today, I want to delve into a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of relationships: money talks before marriage. As someone who's deeply passionate about helping others navigate their financial journey and who’s been on the wrong side of the 50%, this conversation has a special place in my heart. Let’s increase our odds of marital success by having the conversations that need to be had before we tie the knot.
Debt Disclosure: Discuss any outstanding debts, whether it's from student loans, credit cards, car loans, or personal loans. Transparency is key here. Understanding each other's financial obligations will help in planning your future together.
Credit Scores: While it might feel uncomfortable at first, sharing credit scores is vital. Your credit score reflects your financial responsibility and can impact your ability to secure loans or make major purchases in the future. It will also likely be affected by your spouse’s credit score if you choose to open credit cards together.
Spending and Saving Habits: We all have different approaches to money management. Some are natural savers, while others are more inclined to spend. Discuss your spending and saving habits openly. Understand each other's financial priorities and goals. This conversation sets the foundation for creating a joint budget and financial plan.
Retirement Beliefs: Retirement may seem like a distant dream, but it's essential to align your visions for the future. Discuss your retirement goals, whether it's early retirement, traveling the world, or simply enjoying a comfortable lifestyle. (Did anyone watch Love is Blind this season? Amy and Johnny showed a great example of talking about their financial goals… although it would have been better if they’d talked about it in the pods. It did make me cringe a little when Johnny mentioned his desire to save everything and retire early, while Amy wanted to live for today and let tomorrow worry about itself 😰).
Parental Influence: This may seem silly, but discuss what you’ve learned about money from your parents, both verbally and through their actions. Did they prioritize saving for the future, or were they more inclined to live for the moment? Understanding your upbringing's financial influence helps identify any potential differences in financial beliefs and values, and you may be more stuck to your parents’ ways (for better or for worse) than you realized.
Navigating these conversations may feel daunting, but they are crucial for building a strong financial foundation in your relationship. The goal isn’t just to talk about money; it’s about understanding each other's perspectives, values, and goals.
Would you add any money topics to the list?
